[Pg i]

THE SEX SIDE
OF LIFE

An Explanation for Young People

BY
MARY WARE DENNETT
[Pg ii]

Copyright, 1919,
By Mary Ware Dennett

SIXTH PRINTING

Extra copies of this booklet may be had at
the following rates from the author

MRS. MARY WARE DENNETT
81 Singer Street
Astoria. Long Island, New York

[Pg 1]
The Sex Side of Life First Appeared in the Medical
Review of Reviews for February, 1918. The following
is quoted from the editor’s foreword.

We have come across so much rubbish on this subject that
we drifted into the conclusion that an honest sex essay for
young folks would not be produced by this generation.

Recently there came to this desk a manuscript bearing
the title The Sex Side of Life and the sub-title An Explanation
for Young People, written by Mary Ware Dennett.
No editor ever confesses that he reads an article
with prejudice, but we will admit that we expected this
MS would be “returned with thanks.” It was reasonable to
suppose that a laywoman would not succeed where physicians
had failed. Even after we had read the introduction
we were not convinced, for we have met several books
whose texts do not fulfill the promises made by the preface.
But after reading a few pages of the essay itself, we realized
we were listening to the music of a different drummer.
Instead of the familiar notes of fear and pretense, we were
surprised to hear the clarion call of truth.

Mary Ware Dennett’s Sex Side of Life is “on the
level.” In the pages of the Medical Review of Reviews,
her essay will reach only the profession, but we sincerely
hope that this splendid contribution will be reprinted in
pamphlet form and distributed by thousands to the general
public. We are tolerably familiar with Anglo-American
writings on sexology, but we know nothing that equals
Mrs. Dennett’s brochure. Physicians and social workers
are frequently asked: “What shall I say to my growing
child?” Mary Ware Dennett, in her rational sex primer,
at last furnishes a satisfactory answer.

V. R.
[Pg 2]

THE SEX SIDE OF LIFE

INTRODUCTION FOR ELDERS

In reading several dozen books on sex matters for the
young with a view to selecting the best for my own children,
I found none that I was willing to put into their hands,
without first guarding them against what I considered very
misleading and harmful impressions, which they would
otherwise be sure to acquire in reading them. That is the
excuse for this article.

It is far more specific than most sex information written
for young people. I believe we owe it to children to be
specific if we talk about the subject at all.

From a careful observation of youthful curiosity and a
very vivid recollection of my own childhood, I have tried
to explain frankly the points about which there is the greatest
inquiry. These points are not frankly or clearly explained
in most sex literature. They are avoided, partly
from embarrassment, but more, apparently, because those
who have undertaken to instruct the children are not really
clear in their own minds as to the proper status of the sex
relation.

I found that from the physiological point of view, the
question was handled with limitations and reservations.
From the point of natural science it was often handled with
sentimentality, the child being led from a semi-esthetic study
of the reproduction of flowers and animals to the acceptance
of a similar idea for human beings. From the moral point
of view it was handled least satisfactorily of all, the child
being given a jumble of conflicting ideas, with no means of
correlating them,—fear of venereal disease, one’s duty to
suppress “animal passion,” the sacredness of marriage, and
[Pg 3]
so forth. And from the emotional point of view, the subject
was not handled at all.

This one omission seems to me to be the key to the whole
situation, and it is the basis of the radical departure I have
made from the precedents in most sex literature for children.

Concerning all four points of view just mentioned, there
are certain departures from the traditional method that
have seemed to me worth making.

On the physiological side I have given, as far as possible,
the proper terminology for the sex organs and functions.
Children have had to read the expurgated literature which
has been specially prepared for them in poetic or colloquial
terms, and then are needlessly mystified when they hear
things called by their real names.

On the side of natural science, I have emphasized our
unlikeness to the plants and animals rather than our likeness,
for while the points we have in common with the
lower orders make an interesting section in our general
education, it is knowing about the vital points in which we
differ that helps us to solve the sexual problems of maturity;
and the child needs that knowledge precisely as he needs
knowledge of everything which will fortify him for wise
decisions when he is grown.

On the moral side, I have tried to avoid confusion and
dogmatism in the following ways: by eliminating fear of
venereal disease as an appeal for strictly limited sex relations,
stating candidly that venereal disease is becoming
curable; by barring out all mention of “brute” or “animal”
passion, terms frequently used in pleas for chastity and self
control, as such talk is an aspersion on the brutes and has
done children much harm in giving them the impression
that there is an essential baseness in the sex relation; by
inviting the inference that marriage is “sacred” by virtue
of its being a reflection of human ideality rather than because
it is a legalized institution.

Unquestionably the stress which most writers have laid
upon the beauty of nature’s plans for perpetuating the plant
and animal species, and the effort to have the child carry
[Pg 4]
over into human life some sense of that beauty has come
from a most commendable instinct to protect the child from
the natural shock of the revelation of so much that is unesthetic
and revolting in human sex life. The nearness of
the sex organs to the excretory organs, the pain and messiness
of childbirth are elements which certainly need some
compensating antidote to prevent their making too disagreeable
and disproportionate an impress on the child’s mind.

The results are doubtless good as far as they go, but
they do not go nearly far enough. What else is there to
call upon to help out? Why, the one thing which has been
persistently neglected by practically all the sex writers,—the
emotional side of sex experience. Parents and teachers
have been afraid of it and distrustful of it. In not a single
one of all the books for young people that I have thus far
read has there been the frank, unashamed declaration that
the climax of sex emotion is an unsurpassed joy, something
which rightly belongs to every normal human being, a joy
to be proudly and serenely experienced. Instead there has
been all too evident an inference that sex emotion is a thing
to be ashamed of, that yielding to it is indulgence which
must be curbed as much as possible, that all thought and
understanding of it must be rigorously postponed, at any
rate till after marriage.

We give to young folks, in their general education, as
much as they can grasp of science and ethics and art, and
yet in their sex education, which rightly has to do with all
of these, we have said, “Give them only the bare physiological
facts, lest they be prematurely stimulated.” Others of
us, realizing that the bare physiological facts are shocking
to many a sensitive child, and must somehow be softened
with something pleasant, have said, “Give them the facts,
yes, but see to it that they are so related to the wonders of
evolution and the beauties of the natural world that the
shock is minimized.” But none of us has yet dared to say,
“Yes, give them the facts, give them the nature study, too,
but also give them some conception of sex life as a vivifying
joy, as a vital art, as a thing to be studied and developed with
[Pg 5]
reverence for its big meaning, with understanding of its far-reaching
reactions, psychologically and spiritually, with temperant
restraint, good taste and the highest idealism.” We
have contented ourselves by assuming that marriage makes
sex relations respectable. We have not yet said that it is
only beautiful sex relations that can make marriage lovely.

Young people are just as capable of being guided and inspired
in their thought about sex emotion as in their taste
and ideals in literature and ethics, and just as they imperatively
need to have their general taste and ideals cultivated
as a preparation for mature life, so do they need to have
some understanding of the marvelous place which sex emotion
has in life.

Only such an understanding can be counted on to give
them the self control that is born of knowledge, not fear,
the reverence that will prevent premature or trivial connections,
the good taste and finesse that will make their sex life
when they reach maturity a vitalizing success.

AN EXPLANATION FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

When boys and girls get into their “teens,” a side of them
begins to wake up which has been asleep or only partly
developed ever since they were born, that is, the sex side of
them. It is the most wonderful and interesting part of
growing up. This waking is partly of the mind, partly of
the body and partly of the feelings or emotions.

You can’t help wanting to understand all about it, but
somehow you find yourself a little embarrassed in asking
all the questions that come into your mind, and often you
don’t feel quite like talking about it freely, even to your
father and mother. Sometimes it is easier to talk with
your best friends, because they are your own age, and
are beginning to have these new feelings too.

But remember that young people don’t know nearly so
much about it as older people do, and that the older ones
really want to help you with their experience and advice;
and yet, they, like you, often feel rather embarrassed themselves
[Pg 6]
and don’t know how to go about it I suppose it is
because it is all so very personal and still remains somewhat
mysterious, in spite of all that people know about it.

If our bodies were just like machines, then we could
learn about them and manage them quite scientifically as
we do automobiles, but they are not like that. They are
more than machines that have to be supplied with fuel
(food) and kept clean and oiled (by bathing, exercise and
sleep). They are the homes of our souls and our feelings,
and that makes all the difference in the world in the way
we act, and it makes what we have to learn, not limited
to science only, but it has to include more difficult and
complicated things like psychology and morality.

Maybe I can’t make this article help you, but I remember
so well what I wanted to know and how I felt when I was
young that I am now going to try. And I will tell you
to start out with that there is a great deal that nobody
knows yet, in spite of the fact that the human race has
been struggling thousands of years to learn.

Life itself is still a mystery, especially human life. Human
life, in many respects, is like plant and animal life,
but in many ways it is entirely different, and the ways in
which it is different are almost more important for us to
think about than the ways in which it is similar. In all
life, except in the very lowest forms, new life is created
by the coming together, in a very close and special way,
of the male and female elements. You have studied at
school about the plants and you probably have observed
certain of the animals, so you know something about what
this means if you do not understand it thoroughly.

But what you want to know most of all is just how it is
with human beings. You want to know just what this
coming together is, how it is done, how it starts the new
life, the baby, and how the baby is born. You want to
understand the wonderful sex organs, that are different in
men and women, what each part is for and how it works.

If you feel very curious and excited and shy about it,
don’t let yourself be a bit worried or ashamed. Your feelings
[Pg 7]
are quite natural, and most everybody else has felt
just the same way at your age. Remember that strong
feelings are immensely valuable to us. All we need to do
is to steer them in the right direction and keep them well
balanced and proportioned.

Now in order to understand something of why this subject
stirs us so, we must notice in what ways we human
beings are different from the plants and animals. About
the lowest form of life is the amoeba. It looks like a little
lump of jelly, and it produces its young by merely separating
itself in two. One part drifts off from the other part
and each becomes a separate live being. There is no male
and no female and they didn’t know they were doing it.
In the plants a higher stage of development is reached:
there is the male and the female and they join together, not
by coming to each other, or because they know they belong
together, but quite unconsciously, with the aid of the bees
and other insects and the wind, the male part is carried to
the female part—they mix, and at once the seed of a new
plant begins to grow.

Then come to the animals. In all higher forms of animal
life, the male creature comes to the female creature
and himself places within her body the germ which, when
it meets the egg which is waiting for it, immediately makes
a new life begin to grow. But the animals come together
without knowing why. They do it from instinct only, and
they do it in what is called the mating season, which is
usually in the spring. The mating season happens once a
year among most of the higher animals, like birds and wild
cattle, but to some animals it comes several times a year
like the rabbits, for instance. You doubtless know already
that the more highly developed the animal, the longer it
takes the young one to grow before it is born, and the
longer the period when it is helpless to provide its own
food and care.

Now we come to human beings, and see how different
they are! They have no regular mating season, and while
there is a certain amount of instinct in men and women
[Pg 8]
which tends to bring them together, the sex impulse among
highly developed people is far more the result of their feeling
of love for each other than mere animal instinct alone.
Many of the animals make no choice at all in their mating.
Any near-by female will do for the male. But among some
of the higher animals the male has a special instinct for a
certain female, and the female will not tolerate any but a
certain male. Most of the animals have different mates
every season, though there are a few kinds where the male
and female, once having mated, remain mates for years,
sometimes even for life. But it is only human beings whose
mating is what we call “falling in love,” and that is an experience
far beyond anything that the animals know.

It means that a man and a woman feel that they belong
to each other in a way that they belong to no one else; it
makes them wonderfully happy to be together; they find
they want to live together, work together, play together,
and to have children together, that is, to marry each other;
and their dream is to be happy together all their lives.
Sometimes the dream does not come true, and there is much
failure and unhappiness, but just the same people go right
on trying to make it a success, because it is what they care
most for.

The sex attraction is the strongest feeling that human
beings know, and unlike the animals, it is far more than a
mere sensation of the body. It takes in the emotions and
the mind and the soul, and that is why our happiness is so
dependent upon it.

When a man and a woman fall in love so that they
really belong to each other, the physical side of the relation
is this: both of them feel at intervals a peculiar thrill or
glow, particularly in the sexual organs, and it naturally
culminates after they have gone to bed at night. The
man’s special sex organ or penis, becomes enlarged and
stiffened, instead of soft and limp as ordinarily, and thus
it easily enters the passage in the woman’s body called the
vagina or birth-canal, which leads to the uterus or womb,
which as perhaps you already know is the sac in which the
[Pg 9]
egg or embryo grows into a baby. The penis and the
vagina are about the same size, as Nature intended them
to fit each other. By a rhythmic movement of the penis
in and out, the sex act reaches an exciting climax or orgasm,
when there is for the woman a peculiarly satisfying contraction
of the muscles of the passage and for the man,
the expulsion of the semen, the liquid which contains the
germs of life. This is followed by a sensation of peaceful
happiness and sleepy relaxation. It is the very greatest
physical pleasure to be had in all human experience,
and it helps very much to increase all other kinds of pleasure
also. It is at this time that married people not only
are closest to each other physically, but they feel closer to
each other in every other way too. It is then most of all
that they feel sure they belong to each other.

The sex act is called by various names, such as coitus,
coition, copulation, cohabitation, sex-intercourse, the sex-embrace,
etc. But all these terms refer to the same thing.
The first coitus is apt to be somewhat painful for the
woman, as there is usually a thin membrane, called the
hymen, partly closing the vagina which has to be broken
through, but all women do not have it and it varies in size
and thickness with different people.

Without the sex act, no babies could be created, for it is
by this means only that the semen which contains the male
part of the germ of life can meet the ovum or the female
part of the germ of life. When the two parts come together
in the woman’s body under just the right conditions,
a baby begins to grow—at first so tiny that it could hardly
be seen without a microscope, and finally, after nine
months’ growth in the uterus or womb of the mother till
it weighs about seven or eight pounds, it is born, a live
human being. The birth process is called labor, and it is
indeed labor, for it usually means much pain and struggle
for the mother, although the baby’s journey from the uterus
to the world is only a few inches. It takes anywhere from
an hour to two days for a baby to be born. Doctors are
learning more and more how to lessen the pain, and by
[Pg 10]
the end of another generation it ought to be possible for
child-birth to be practically painless for most women. By
that time people will more generally understand how to
have babies only when they want them and can afford
them. At present, unfortunately, it is against the law to
give people information as to how to manage their sex
relations so that no baby will be created unless the father
and mother are ready and glad to have it happen.

Now you must understand something about this intricate
sexual machinery. Plate I shows the woman’s organs and
Plate 2 the man’s. Both these illustrations are sections, as
if the body were cut in two vertically.

[Pg 11]

Plate One

1. Backbone.

2. Rectum, which carries away the
solid waste matter from the bowels.

3. Anus, the opening of the rectum.

4. Bladder, which holds the waste
water or urine.

5. Ovary, in which grows the ovum
or egg.

6. Fallopian tube, which carries the
ovum to the uterus.

7. Uterus or Womb, in which the egg
or ovum grows into a baby.

8. Mouth of the Uterus, through
which the semen has to go to meet the
ovum.

9. Vagina or Birth Canal, into which
the penis fits during the sex act.

10. Entrance to the Vagina.

11. Entrance to the Urethra, which
carries away the waste water or urine.

Plate Two

1. Backbone.

2. Rectum, which carries away the
solid waste matter from the bowels.

3. Anus, the opening of the rectum.

4. Bladder, which holds the waste
water or urine.

5. Penis, which fits into the vagina,
during the sex act.

6. Prepuce, or fore-skin.

7. Scrotum, the bag which holds the
testicles.

8. Testicles, in which grow the spermatozoa,
or germs of life.

9. Vas Deferens, which carries the
spermatozoa to the urethra.

10. Prostate Gland.

11. Seminal Vesicle.

Both 10 and 11 secrete liquids that
make part of the semen, and which
nourish the spermatozoa.

12. Urethra, which carries the spermatozoa,
also the urine.

13. Cowper’s Gland, which secretes a
liquid which makes the urethra alkaline.

14. One of the spermatozoa, or germs
of life, much magnified.

Sometimes it seems very distasteful to us that the sex or
generative organs should be placed so near to what we
might call our “sewerage system.” We do not like to have
to connect in our thought anything so sweet and nice as a
baby or so happy and precious as the sex embrace with
the waste of our bodies, which we want to be rid of with
as little thought as possible, as it is disagreeable at best,
and we wonder why we were created this way. But we
have to remember that the sex organs are very delicate
and they are probably placed where they can best be protected
from injury. It would be hard to think of any other
part of the body that would be safer than just this place.
At any rate there they are, and our duty is to understand
them as best we can, and take mighty good care of them
as our most wonderful possession.

Looking at Plate I, you will see that the woman’s body
provides the egg or ovum. These grow, many thousands
of them, in two small sacs called ovaries, and every little
while (usually every four weeks, but not always) an ovum
ripens and passes out from the ovary through the fallopian
tube (there are two of these, one leading from each ovary)
into the uterus or womb, a process which takes several
days. Here it may be met by the male life element, and
if so, it becomes fertilized and remains in the uterus to
grow into a baby. This is called fertilization, fecundation,
impregnation or conception. But if the egg is not fertilized,
[Pg 12]
it passes from the uterus through the vagina and out of the
body. The ovaries take turns in developing the ovum.

Every twenty-eight days or so a woman, from the time
she is about thirteen or fourteen till she is about fifty, has
a slight flow of blood from the uterus, which is called
menstruation. The reasons for this are not wholly understood,
but it is supposed there is an extra supply of blood
provided periodically for the growth of a baby, but when
there is no baby starting to grow, the blood is not needed so
it flows away (about once in four weeks). Often the unfertilized
ovum is carried away with it, but the two things
do not necessarily happen at the same time. Menstruation
lasts from three to five days and young girls sometimes
have pain then and feel languid and “unwell.” If so they
should be quieter than usual and avoid cold baths and getting
their feet wet. But menstruation is not an illness,
and a girl in perfect health finds it only a slight inconvenience.

The ovaries not only produce the egg, but they also produce
a secretion that is absorbed by the blood and which
is most necessary in the development of a girl into a woman.
It has an almost magical effect in adding the specially
womanly qualities to the body and character.

Looking at Plate 2, you will see the man’s sex machinery.
The testicles are to a man what the ovaries are to a
woman. They are two sacs held in a bag of rather thin
loose skin called the scrotum, and it is here that the sperm
(spermatozoa) or germ of life grows. Just how no one
really knows. The spermatozoa are very tiny and the
testicles hold many thousands of them. Under the microscope
they show a sort of head and tail like a pollywog.
They are very much alive and move by a rapid wiggling of
the tail part.

Leading from each testicle is a tube called the vas deferens,
through which the sperm goes at the time of the sex act
on its way out to meet the ovum in the woman’s body.
On the way it is joined by two other liquids, one secreted
by the seminal vesicles (of which there are two) and the
[Pg 13]
other by the prostate gland. These three liquids together
form the semen, which at the times of sexual excitement
is forced out through the penis into the vagina of the woman.

You will notice that the woman has separate tubes for
the urine (waste water) and the sex function, but the man
uses the same tube for both: that is, in the woman the
bladder which holds the urine is emptied by a separate
tube, the urethra, while in the man the urethra not only
empties the bladder, but it also carries the semen.

The use of the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland
is to supply a means of nourishment for the spermatozoa
until they reach the ovum, which may not be for several
days after the semen is expelled into the vagina.

Then there are two small glands called Cowper’s glands,
which make the passage in the penis alkaline, as the spermatozoa
can only remain alive in an alkaline secretion and
the urine is acid, so always just before the penis forces
out the semen, the secretion from Cowper’s glands goes
ahead to protect the sperm from being destroyed by any
remaining traces of the acid urine.

At the end of the penis is a fold or cap of skin, the
prepuce, which the doctor often removes for the sake of
the boy’s health, a process called circumcision, and it is a
great relief to boys whose prepuce or foreskin is too tight
as to make difficulty in keeping clean. All Jewish babies
are regularly circumcised, a custom dating way back to
Bible times.

There is a constant internal secretion from the testicles
of a man just as from the ovaries of a woman, and it has
the same beneficial effect on the whole being. It makes
a boy what we call manly or virile. The value of the internal
secretions of the sex organs in both boys and girls
is so great that for that reason, if for no other, the whole
sex machinery must be kept in perfect health.

Boys have a certain discomfort to bear which is difficult
for them just as menstruation is difficult for girls. But
by knowing the meaning of things and by taking care of
themselves, they need not be seriously troubled by it. Every
[Pg 14]
once in a while as they are growing up, but before they
are old enough to really fall in love and marry and have
children, boys feel a sort of stirring of the sex organs—sometimes
so much so that it makes them quite uneasy
and anxious for relief. The thing to do is to keep as calm
as possible and keep very busy and very healthy. Then
the discomfort will not be too great, and nature will usually
bring relief by letting the accumulated semen pass off during
sleep. This is called a seminal emission, and is perfectly
harmless. Sometimes a vivid sexual dream comes
with it, but that too will do no harm, unless a boy lets his
mind dwell on it till the excitement grows unnatural. This
emission may happen every two weeks or so, but it is not a
regular thing. Boys are sometimes alarmed and fear their
sex machinery is out of order, but it is a perfectly natural
thing, and only means that the organs are relieving themselves
of the extra secretions that are not needed till the
time comes for the real sex relation.

Boys and girls sometimes get the habit of handling their
sex organs so as to get them excited. This is called masturbation
or self-abuse. It is also called auto-erotism.
Such handling can be made to result in a climax something
like that of the natural sex act. For generations this habit
has been considered wrong and dangerous, but recently
many of the best scientists have concluded that the chief
harm has come from the worry caused by doing it, when
one believed it to be wrong. This worry has often been so
great that real illness, both of the mind and body has resulted.
There is no occasion for worry unless the habit is
carried to excess. But remember that until you are mature,
the sex secretions are specially needed within your body,
and if you use them wastefully before you are grown, you
are depriving your body of what it needs. So do not stimulate
your sex organs into action intentionally. And do
not yield to the impulse to handle the sex organs in order
to relieve the pressure which may occasionally feel overwhelming,
unless you find that nature does not bring you
relief during sleep.
[Pg 15]

Remember always that your whole sex machinery is
more easily put out of order than any other part of your
body, and it must be treated with great care and respect
all along. It is not fair to ourselves or to each other to
do a single thing that will make us either weak or unnatural.
Remember that your sex organs have a very
powerful, even if invisible, effect upon your whole being,
and up to the time that you are really old enough to love
some one to whom you want to actually belong, you must
let your sex machinery grow strong and ready for its good,
happy work when the right time comes. The sex organs
during your youth do not need frequent exercise in the
same sense that your muscles do. They are active all the
time with their internal secretions which strengthen both
you and them.

Don’t ever let any one drag you into nasty talk or thought
about sex. It is not a nasty subject. It should mean
everything that is highest and best and happiest in human
life, but it can be easily perverted and ruined and made
the cause of horrible suffering of both mind and body.

There are two very terrible sexual diseases—syphilis and
gonorrhea. They are both frightfully infectious and very
difficult to cure. These diseases are usually acquired by
sex contact with a diseased person, but they can also be
gotten by using public drinking cups, towels, water-closets,
or in any way by which an infected moist article can come
in contact with one’s skin. The worst thing about these
diseases is that they are such invisible enemies. After
the outside appearance of the disease is gone, they often
go reaching farther and farther into the body, making
awful results that hang on for years. Men who get diseased
frequently give the infection to their wives, often
causing them to be so ill that surgical operations are necessary,
by which their sex organs are so crippled that they
can never be mothers; and, worst of all, innocent unborn
babies are infected and come into the world sick or deformed
or blind.

Men often get these dreadful diseases by having sex relations
[Pg 16]
with women who are called prostitutes or “bad
women,” that is, they are women who are not in love with
any one, but who make money by selling their sex relations
to men who pay for them. Many prostitutes become
diseased, and there is, as yet, no way for either them or the
men who visit them to be positively safe from infection.
But the doctors are making progress in their study of these
diseases, and they are finding out how to control and cure
them, just as they have in the case of tuberculosis.

But even if presently these venereal diseases, as they
are called, can be entirely cured and prevented, prostitution
will still remain a thing to hate. For the idea of sex
relations between people who do not love each other, who
do not feel any sense of belonging to each other, will always
be revolting to highly developed, sensitive people.

People’s lives grow finer and their characters better, if
they have sex relations only with those they love. And
those who make the wretched mistake of yielding to the sex
impulse alone when there is no love to go with it, usually
live to despise themselves for their weakness and their bad
taste. They are always ashamed of doing it, and they try
to keep it secret from their families and those they respect.
You can be sure that whatever people are ashamed to do is
something that can never bring them real happiness. It is
true that one’s sex relations are the most personal and private
matters in the world, and they belong just to us and
to no one else, but while we may be shy and reserved about
them, we are not ashamed.

When two people really love each other, they don’t care
who knows it. They are proud of their happiness. But
no man is ever proud of his connection with a prostitute
and no prostitute is ever proud of her business.

Sex relations belong to love, and love is never a business.
Love is the nicest thing in the world, but it can’t be bought.
And the sex side of it is the biggest and most important side
of it, so it is the one side of us that we must be absolutely
sure to keep in good order and perfect health, if we are going
to be happy ourselves or make any one else happy.