THE ELECTRIC MAN

THE ELECTRIC MAN

BEING THE ONE ACT VERSION OF THE
SUCCESSFUL THREE ACT FARCICAL
COMEDY OF THE SAME NAME

By

CHARLES HANNAN

Author of

“A Cigarette Maker’s Romance,” “Master of the Situation,” “The
Coachman with Yellow Lace,” “Iron Hand and Velvet Glove,”
“The World’s Way,” “United States,” “Sweet Olivia,”
“Richard Wye,” “The New Groom,” “The Setting
of the Sun,” “The Gipsy,” “A Fragment,” “The
Lily of the Field,” etc., etc., and in
collaboration with Wilson Barrett,
“Our Pleasant Sins.”

Copyright, 1910, by Samuel French, Ltd

New York		London
SAMUEL FRENCH		SAMUEL FRENCH Ltd
Publisher		26 Southampton Street
28-30 WEST 38TH STREET		STRAND

Any costumes, wigs or properties used in the performance
of “The Electric Man” may be hired or
purchased reasonably from Messrs. C. H. Fox, Ltd.,
27, Wellington Street, Strand, London.

THE ELECTRIC MAN.

The three act successful farcical comedy, “The Electric
Man,” which may be obtained in manuscript from Messrs.
Samuel French, Ltd., was first presented at the King’s
Theatre, Hammersmith, with Mr. Harcourt Beatty in the
leading rôle, and was subsequently put on for a West End
run at the Royalty Theatre on November 10, 1906, with Mr.
Harry Nicholls as the Electric Man, the piece being transferred
to the Shaftesbury Theatre on Boxing Day of the same
year.

The condensed one act form of the play which follows was
produced by Mr. Harry Nicholls at the Chelsea Palace and
Metropolitan Halls with the greatest success on July 29,
1907, cast thus:—

Period: Present day. Morning.

Time of representation: Twenty-six minutes.

NOTES.

Walter and the automaton are never upon the stage
together, so that throughout the play Walter takes the
figure’s place by entering the cupboard “off.” A super is
required, however, to play “dummy,” but when this happens
the figure is seated in the cupboard with its back to audience.

Costume for Walter and for the automaton: Walter
wears a brown coat or jacket and trousers of the same, with
a white waistcoat. The automaton is dressed exactly the
same as to trousers and waistcoat, etc., but wears a black
frock coat, and as they both usually keep the coat buttoned,
the waistcoat is seldom seen.

“Funeral March of a Marionette” to accompany the automaton’s
scenes. The automaton walks very stiffly and
jerkily, and moves his arms like a doll.

PLAN OF SET.

D in F indicates the opening leading to hall.

R the entry to drawing-room.

There are curtains at each side of the window recess,

And a Grandfather’s clock against wall, front of china cupboard.

Scene.—Walter’s rooms in London. Moderately
furnished sitting-room.

On table R. a newspaper and two unopened letters.

The table up in the alcove is set for luncheon.

Walter’s brown bowler is lying on chair or sofa L.

(Enter Jack and Mrs. Anderson D. in F.)

Mrs. Anderson. It’s as I thought, sir, the pore
young gent isn’t up.

Jack (looks at his watch). Was he late last night?

Mrs. Anderson. Oh, yes, sir, as I happens to
know being woked up sudden, thinkering to hear a
burgular, which was only Master Walter Everest, the
gent I does for, a-creepering and a-crawlering upstairs.

Jack. Is he often like that? (Takes up and
looks at letters on table and puts them down again.)

Mrs. Anderson. Lawk a floury! no, sir, only
breaks out occasional when his work’s bad. Mr.
Everest is a chemist and electerician.

[Pg 8]Jack. Been working hard lately?

Mrs. Anderson. I believes as he have something
very musterious and secret inventering at this here
identical period of time, some mustery as he keeps in
that there cupboard which the door is always locked
constant. Oh, very musterious—and queer smells
a-penetratering and perfuncteroring the house. Oh,
here he are, sir.

(Walter’s door L. opens. She exits D. in F.)

(Walter stumbles in L. He is not to look dissipated,
but to act it.)

Walter. Hullo, hullo! whose head is this? It
isn’t mine, it can’t be mine. Stop! (Sits top of
R. table.) Stop! (Picks up newspaper.) Morning
paper, who wants morning paper? (Throws it on
floor behind him, and Jack, who is watching him, picks
it up. Walter opens letter.) Letters, who wants
letters?—oh, one from my tailor, “We greatly regret
delay in delivery of your new black coat. We will
despatch it to reach your residence without fail to-day.
May we remind you that your account——?”
No, you may not remind me.

(Jack gives him a rousing smack on the back.)

Hullo, Jack, where did you spring from?

Jack. Came to town this morning. (Clasp hands.)

Walter. Jack, I’m very ill. I haven’t been out
of doors till last night for weeks. Nothing but work
at what my father left me. He gave his lifetime to it
and then left it to me. It ought to have been the
invention of the age. I went on the spree last night,
when the whole thing failed.

Jack. I have some news for you about your stepmother,
Mrs. Everest. By the idiotic conditions of
your late father’s will—if the old lady marries again
before your birthday on Monday next the whole
fortune he left becomes not yours but hers.

[Pg 9]Walter. He meant it the other way about.

Jack. Yes, but that is how the will reads—instead
of writing “He shall inherit,” your father wrote
“she shall inherit.” She is the “she.” About
forty-five thou., isn’t it?

Walter. Nearer fifty.

Jack. An adventurer named Potterfield has
lately come to the village, found out about the will,
made love to the old lady, got a special license, and
is bringing her to town to marry her to-morrow.

Walter. What?

Jack. Stella is coming here directly. This wedding
must be stopped or postponed.

Walter. Jack, something’s got to be done—suppose
I were taken ill—very ill.

Jack. No good at all.

Walter. Well, suppose that—no, that’s no use—suppose
again that—no, that’s no good either. I
have a dim kind of idea that in some way my invention
is going to help us.

Jack. You said it had failed.

Walter. It failed living; it might be of use dead.
(Swiss Jodel.) Hullo, tra la la! (Momentary dissipated
business.)

(Stella enters D. in F.)

Walter. Hullo, Stella how are you? Jack has told
me all about this adventurer, Potterfield. I’ve
an idea to checkmate my stepmother. (Gives
her seat.) I’m going to postpone their marriage not
by being ill—I’m going to die. What do you think
of that?

Jack. I think it’s the weakest thing I ever heard
of.

Walter. In that cupboard there is a figure exactly
like myself which was timed to spring into existence
yesterday at 5 p.m.—only it didn’t. It’s the work
my father never completed. Something went wrong.
There the figure is and will remain, dead as a nut.[Pg 10]
I even dressed it in my best clothes, gave it a name,
too, christened it Cyril Davidson.

Stella. Cyril Davidson? (Laughs.)

Jack. What was the little idea of making it like
yourself?

Walter. My father’s instructions were to make
the man I was creating a handsome, good-looking
fellow, according to the very best available model.
All you’ve got to do is to produce the dead figure and
say it’s me. I’ll go away to Brighton; they can’t in
common decency marry before the funeral.

Jack. Then it seems you made an electric man.
My chief doubt is it won’t be like enough.

Walter. Come and see!

(Music. He takes key from pocket, unlocks door of
cupboard, and a man in black frock-coat, with black
bowler, is seen seated with back to audience.)

Stella. Oh, how wonderful! (Looking in.)

Jack. Wonderful! (Looking in.)

Stella. Walter, that is you!

(Bell rings off D. in F.)

Walter. Bell!—that may be my stepmother!
(He quickly closes cupboard.) We might go into the
other room. I call it my drawing-room, because there
is a piano and three gold-fish in a bowl.

(Stella goes into room R.)

Jack, in case she comes I’d better be off. Can you
lend me any cash?

Jack. How much do you want? (Producing
loose cash.)

Walter. Two or three pounds. (Looks in Jack’s
hand.) I’ll take four. (Does so.) Stop, I’ll give you
a duplicate key of the cupboard. (Gives key.) The
figure has got my black coat on, and I want it for
Brighton. When you come back, it will be wearing
this one. (Pointing to coat he is wearing.)

[Pg 11]Jack. Right.

Walter. Explain that to Stella.

Jack. Right oh! (Jack goes into drawing-room R.)

(Walter picks up and puts on his brown bowler, goes
quickly up, unlocks cupboard, puts key back in pocket,
then goes in after saying🙂

Walter. Now, Mr. Davidson, my coat, if you
please.

(He opens door wide, showing figure seated as before,
then goes in and the door closes.)

(He is then heard calling loudly in cupboard🙂

I say! let me go! confound you—Jack—Jack—I
say! the thing is moving!

(Loud noise of struggle.)

Hold on, damn it! don’t hit me on the head! Do
you want to STUN me? Jack!

Mrs. Anderson (calling after him). Mr. Everest,
sir!

(Exit Automaton D. in F.)

(Exit Mrs. Anderson D. in F.)

(Jack and Stella enter from R.)

Jack. I left him changing his coat.

[Pg 12]Stella (looking out of window). There he is turning
the corner; he has changed his coat.

Jack. Let’s have a proper look at this wonderful
thing before the old lady comes.

(They fetch out chair with Walter seated on it and
bring it down stage, where they wheel the chair right
round so that the stunned Walter faces audience.
He is hatless.)

Stella. Hasn’t it slipped down in the chair since
we saw it last?

Jack. I don’t think so.

Stella. Look at its eyes—Jack, they’re opening—it’s
moving!

Jack. Great Heavens! it’s being born!

Walter (half stunned and waking). Where am I?

Stella. It speaks!

Jack. It’s living!

Walter. I want a drink!

Jack. Good lord! It drinks!

(Stella screams and falls on seat. Bell again rings
loudly off R.)

Hullo! there’s Mrs. Everest! (He takes Walter,
who has risen, by the arm.) Come with me, sir (leads
him to bedroom L.). In there with you, quick!

(Kicks him in quickly, and locks door.)

(Stella meantime has hurried up with the chair and
put it in cupboard and closes door.)

Phew! this is the most extraordinary thing! (Hurries
down, saying🙂 Where are the telegraph forms?

(As he snatches them from nail on wall, and sits to write R.,
Mrs. Anderson enters D. in F. out of breath and
with a telegram; she is in process of dressing,
her hair being in disorder, and she wears a dressing
jacket.)

Mrs. Anderson. Telegrapheram, sir. (Down and
gives it.)

[Pg 13]Jack (looking at telegram). From Mrs. Everest—“Have
missed train, don’t wait lunch—coming by
next.” Thank goodness! (To Mrs. Anderson.)
I suppose you don’t know where I can find a detective?

Mrs. Anderson. Yes, sir, I does. Being my
own nephew as lives in the attic.

Jack (writes several telegrams, as🙂 I want him at
once——

Mrs. Anderson. Lawk a floury me!

(Hurries out D. in F.)

Stella. What are you writing? (Takes up one
of the telegrams.) “Walter Everest, Ship Hotel,
Brighton. Cyril Davidson is living. Come home.”

(Walter knocks loudly at bedroom door.)

Jack! listen!

Jack (still writing—knocking repeated). Coming—coming.

(Knocking ceases—he continues.)

This goes to every hotel in Brighton.

Stella. He may not be at an hotel.

Jack. That’s why I’ve sent for a detective——

(Jobbins enters, hat in hand and umbrella under arm;
he is a stout man, rather shabbily dressed in tweed,
with tweed frock-coat, and has a square-topped bowler.)

Jobbins. My name is Jobbins, sir. (Gives large
card.) Private inquiry and detective agent, utmost
secrecy and despatch, parties watched, missing relatives
traced, divorces ensured.

Jack. This is a very simple matter, Mr. Jobbins.
The gentleman who resides here left home suddenly.
I want him fetched back at once. (Sits and writes
note as🙂

Jobbins. Yes, sir (goes up, then returns), where is
he? (With notebook open to take notes.)

[Pg 14]Jack. Brighton.

Jobbins (notes). Brighton—what hotel, sir?

Jack. Do you think if I knew what hotel I should
require a detective?

Jobbins. Then how am I to find him?

Jack. The best thing will be to take the first train
to Brighton.

Jobbins (notes). First train to Brighton.

Jack. He may be at a boarding-house.

Jobbins (notes). Possibly a boarding-house.

Jack. When you find him give him this note
(closing it and giving it), and send me a wire. (Gives
five-pound note.) There is some cash for your expenses.

Stella. How is he to know Walter?

Jack. Isn’t there a photograph? (Finds one on
mantel R.) Here we are. (Gives it.)

Jobbins. I’ll walk about the Brighton streets with
this—why, I seen this gent in the public gardens five
minutes ago.

Jack. Then after him and bring him back.

Jobbins (at D. in F.). You’ll hear from me—BY
WIRE.

(Exit.)

Jack (calls out after him). Follow him to Victoria;
if you miss him, go right on. (Comes down.) I’ve
forgotten these telegrams.

Stella. I’ll take them.

Jack (gives them). Have you any cash?

Stella. Yes. (Hurries out D. in F.)

(A very loud peremptory knocking at D.L. Jack listens
a moment—it is repeated.)

Jack. Getting nasty! (Loud knocking.)

Walter (off, calls). I say—let me out!

Jack. Now if I had not known, I should have said
that was Walter. The voice was a trifle thick at
starting, but now its identical.

Walter (off). Let me out. (Loud knocking.)

[Pg 15]Jack. I suppose I’ll have to.

(He goes and unlocks door and returns to R. front—Walter
comes out.)

Walter. What is the meaning of all this?

Jack. That’s exactly what I want to know.

Walter. Locking a fellow in a bedroom.

Jack (aside). Calls itself a fellow and knows it’s a
bedroom!

Walter. I feel as stupid (he is still half-stunned)
as an owl. Where is Stella?

Jack. Knows about Stella!

Walter. What are you muttering?

Jack. Knows I’m muttering!

Walter. Well?

Jack. Well.

Walter. Why the devil don’t you speak?

Jack. Knows there’s a devil! I really don’t
quite know what to do with you till your creator
returns.

Walter. What?—How?

Jack. What or how—same thing. This is a
pretty pickle, Mr. Cyril Davidson.

Walter. Mr. What?

Jack. Of course you don’ know your name yet;
that is what you were christened, Cyril Davidson, so I
call you Cyril Davidson.

Walter. Oh, you do, do you? that’s very clever
of you. My mind’s a blank, I can’t remember what
happened before I woke up on that chair.

Jack. No one remembers what happened before
they were born.

Walter (bangs a book down on table). Oh, damned
nonsense!

Jack. I wonder what you think of the world now
you’ve come into it; what are your general impressions
of mankind?

Walter. Was this why you locked me in the
bedroom?

[Pg 16]Jack. Exactly.

Walter. And are you going to keep this up?

Jack. Decidedly.

Walter. I can’t see much sense in it myself;
however, if it pleases you—I’m going to have some
lunch. (Goes up to table in recess.)

Jack (calls up). Mr. Davidson! (No answer.)
I’ve made it angry. (Calls.) Mr. Davidson—I say,
Davidson—Mr. Cyril Davidson—sir,—oh, it’s in a pet
and declines to answer me.

(Stella enters D. in F.)

Stella. Jack, a boy brought this. (Gives note.)

Jack (tears it open). Jobbins is something like a
detective. “Just seen Mr. Everest, he is running.
Jobbins.”

Stella. Running?

Jack. The electric individual is in there.

Stella. You let it out? What is it doing?

Jack. Lunching.

Walter (at table in alcove, mixing salad). Nothing
here but salad! (With beer bottle.) Beer, who wants
beer?

Jack. Knows all about everything!

Stella. It’s been listening in the cupboard before
it lived. (Pause and then asks.) Should we speak
to it?

Jack. It’s very bad-tempered, but I daresay it
won’t hurt you. (They go up.) I say, Davidson!

Walter. Bah! (They start back.)

Stella. Poor thing! tell it it’s amongst friends.

(They again approach.)

Jack. This young lady is very anxious to make
your acquaintance, Mr. Davidson!

(Walter smashes crockery with a beer bottle; they start
and come down in fright, then approach again.)

Stella. Please, Mr. Davidson!

[Pg 17]Walter (turns). Oh, you’ve come back; has
Jack told you what he’s playing at?

(He comes down a little—they retreat from him.)

Jack. Isn’t it wonderful! Calls me Jack!

Walter (as they are staring at him). When you’ve
done staring, perhaps you’ll drop this.

Stella. Jack, I can’t believe it! (Walter
walks about in rage.)

Jack. At first I couldn’t, but there is a difference,
I begin to see it, a very subtle difference; watch how
it moves; aren’t its joints a little stiff and so on?

Walter (quick step to him). You thick-headed-addle-pated
numskull!

(Jack in fright falls headlong backwards over sofa L.,
Stella runs and crouches R., then they rise on knees
and wave to pacify him.)

Jack. Gently, gently!

Stella. Oh, please, Mr. Davidson, please don’t be
so angry; we are both awfully interested in you and
really sorry for you. It must be terrible to be born
full grown.

Walter. Am I mad, or are you?

Jack. You are.

Walter. That’s settled.

Stella. Of course, you think you’re real, but we
know. You’re only a made thing, like a cheese or a
pudding.

Walter (hand to head). You honestly say and
believe that I am my own invention? (They nod
solemnly.)

Walter. Am I myself, or am I the thing I made?

Jack. You are the thing you made.

Walter. Then where is myself—the other fellow?

Jack. Your esteemed creator left home before you
began to exist, changed coats and went.

Walter. Changed coats? I never changed coats
at all!

[Pg 18]

Walter. The moment I tried to, the figure rose
up and stunned me.

Stella (up to him, throws arms round him). It’s
Walter!

(Enter Mrs. Anderson with telegram D. in F., and
gives it. Jack opens it.)

Mrs. Anderson (seeing Walter). Ow! Ow!
Lawk a floury me!

(Exit.)

Jack. Jobbins is somewhere near Euston. (Gives
telegram to Stella.)

Walter. Who’s Jobbins?

Jack. The detective who’s gone after you to bring
you back.

Walter. Then it really went out?

Stella (reading telegram). “Have taken a cab,
he’s still running.” What will happen if Mr. Jobbins
catches it?

Walter. I expect he will catch it.

Jack. Another telegram! (Going up to D. in F.)

(Mrs. Anderson hands in a telegram and retires.)

(Coming down, reading🙂 “He has smashed some
more windows, and is still running.”

Stella (taking the telegram). More windows!

Jack. “The crowd are still after him.”

Walter. Crowd?

Jack. “He has just climbed a tall chimney stack
marked Bovril, and is now sitting on the top.”

Walter. Good Lord!

Jack. “Marked Bovril,” is this to be your fate,
alas, my poor brother!

Walter (snatches the wire and reads). “They are
fetching a fire escape. He keeps yowling.”

Stella (taking telegram). Yowling?

[Pg 19]Walter. Suppose the police get him and think
it’s me, I’ll be blamed for all this damned thing.
We must catch him. We’ll buy a gag and handcuffs
as we go along.

Stella. Gag? Why?

Walter. Because he’s yowling! Stop! Stella
must stay in case Mrs. Everest comes. (Calls.)
Mrs. Anderson! I want a cab!

(He and Jack rush out D. in F.)

Stella. I’m so excited I think I’ll play the piano
in the other room.

(Exit R. to drawing-room and immediately plays and
sings “Caressante.”)

Automaton. Tick-tick-Yow.

(Mrs. Anderson enters D. in F. with a black frock-coat
in tailor’s parcel, places it on table R. top end, then
sees Automaton and comes out C., to speak.)

Mrs. Anderson. Oh, he’s there, are he? (Using
handkerchief as she speaks.)

Automaton. Yow.

Mrs. Anderson. There’s a parcel from the tailoring
folks with a message hopering as it were in time.

Automaton. Yow-Yow. (She starts a little.)

Mrs. Anderson. The pore young lady is a-sittering
in there.

Automaton. Tick-tick. Yow-yow! (Same business.)

Mrs. Anderson. Ain’t you in good ’ealth, Mr.
Everest, sir?

Automaton. Yow-chuck, Yow-yow.

(Rises and makes mechanical exit to bedroom L.)

[Pg 20]Mrs. Anderson (watching him). Pore-young-man!

(Enter Stella R.)

Mr. Everest have come back, mum; gone in his
bedroom, mum; been to the pub.-house again, or I’m
much mistook. Pore-young-man!

(Exit D. in F.)

Stella (calls across). Walter, here’s a parcel—Walter!

(Automaton enters door L., but does not come
out, she sees him.)

Walter, why have you left Jack? Is anything
wrong?

Automaton. Yow! (Turns and goes in again
D.L.)

Stella (crossing to the door). Walter! (Door
shuts.) How very polite of you! Are you changing?
(Voice off says, “Yow.”) Oh, very well, if you won’t
answer me. I’m in the drawing-room all alone!

(Has crossed back to R., and goes in.)

Automaton (enters L.). Tick-chuck-yow. (Goes
up, hits door of cupboard twice.) Chuck-yow-yow.

(Goes to recess, knocks over a chair, hits clock, etc., and
goes into china cupboard in recess L. A loud noise of
smashing of crockery off. Stella through this is
playing and singing same air as before.)

(Walter comes in D. in F., as soon as ever he can,
walking quite quietly as contrast to the very quick exit
of Automaton. Brown jacket.)

Walter (comes to table R., calling). Stella! I want
you. Stella!

Stella (stops singing a moment to call). I’m not
coming! (Resumes song off.)

Walter (takes up parcel). My new coat at last.
The moment I get Davidson under lock and key I’m[Pg 21]
going to change into this and get away to Brighton.
(Puts parcel down.)

(Stella enters R.)

Why wouldn’t you come a minute ago?

Stella. Why did you shut that door in my face?

Walter. When?

Stella. After you went out.

Walter. After I went out—before I came
home? Did I speak?

Stella. No.

Walter. It’s as plain as a pikestaff, it’s come
home!

Stella (slowly and firmly). I believe you’re right.
Now I’ve seen you both I’ll never mistake again.

Walter. It must be somewhere on the premises
now.

(They hurriedly look about under furniture, and meet
and collide up C., and say, “Oh!” Noise in china
cupboard.)

Walter. It’s in the bedroom. Run down to
Mrs. Anderson and borrow the very largest blanket.

Stella. Why?

Walter. I want something to throw over it.

(Stella exit D. in F.)

Walter (listens to fresh sounds). No! It’s in the
china cupboard!

(He quickly turns key.)

Walter. Got it—got it!

(He jubilantly dances down C., then goes and calls out
D. in F.)

[Pg 22]Stella, Stella, I’ve locked it in the china cupboard.
I don’t want the blanket. (Returns.) Gone in the
kitchen, I suppose! (Takes up parcel.) Change my
coat at last and get away! (Goes into bedroom L.)

Walter (within, as loud noise in bedroom). Hi!
stop!

Automaton (within). Yow-yow.

Walter (rushing in, dressed in black coat). By
Jove! what an escape!

(Jack, carrying blanket of green flannel or red, enters
with Stella, who has gag and handcuffs—enter
D. in F.)

(Walter makes signs to them, pointing to bedroom and
beckoning them to follow him there.)

Jack. Is that it?

Stella. Yes, yes, Jack, yes!

(Jack throws blanket over Walter, and they get him
on chair C.)

Jack. Hurrah! we’ve got him now! (Business:
secure him with rope round his legs and gag, then take
blanket off.) (Walter, gagged, groans.) No more
climbing tall chimney stacks! (Walter groans.)

Stella. Is it in pain?

Jack. Of course not.

Stella. It groans so!

Jack. Rather mad at being caught.

Stella. Is it wax-work?

Jack. More like indiarubber. I suppose you do
see the difference this time?

Stella. Rather.

Jack. That’s not flesh and blood. (Pulling its
nose.)

[Pg 23]Stella. It seems to want to explain something.

Jack. It will never get the chance of that. (Lighting
a candle from mantel R.)

Stella. Poor thing! are you tired of living?
(Groan.)

Jack. How can it answer you?

Stella. I believe it could if you took the gag out
of its mouth.

Jack. Hold the candle under its nose. (Groan.)

Stella. No, no, no! (Jack puts candle on table.)

Jack (with pin from waistcoat). I want to see what
it will do when I stick this pin in it. (Groan.)

Stella. No, no!

Jack. In its leg, you can nip its arms and legs.
(Does so—groan.)

Stella. It doesn’t seem to like being nipped.

Jack. In the interests of science I’m going to
bleed it. (Loud groans.) Give me a carving knife.
(Groans.)

(Mrs. Anderson has entered and come down—sees
Walter, screams. They start.)

Mrs. Anderson. The gent I does for came down
the other stair from the bedroom (pointing L.) and is
in the kitchen premises at this here identical period of
time.

Jack. What! Is he?

Mrs. Anderson. Here have I been a-doing for
two twins at the price of one.

Jack (bustles Mrs. Anderson to D. in F.). Send
Mr. Everest up at once! (Exit Mrs. Anderson.)

Jack. Now to make an end of this fiend!

(Walter, who has been watching them as well as he
could, now pretends to be dead.)

Hullo! I don’t think I’ll want any instruments, it’s
passing away! (Business.) Not breathing! (Looks
at watch.) It’s eyes are closed. Oh! it’s run down.
I believe we’d be quite safe to unbind it. Just help
me with this rope. Let it pass away quietly on the[Pg 24]
sofa. There is something pathetic even in the death
of a doll.

(They unbind Walter and raise him, he opens his
eyes and bounds upon Jack—commotion.)

Confound it, it’s living again!

(Stella runs in room R., Jack runs in room L.)

Walter (as Jack looks in L., and Stella looks in
R.). I say! (They at once withdraw.) Jack!
Stella! (Heads appear again.) I say! Jack!
(Heads disappear.) Come out, you bounder! (Heads
appear.) Why are you making such idiots of yourselves?

Jack (coming in). Who are you?

Walter. Walter Everest.

Jack. The other fellow said that.

Walter. I am the other fellow.

Jack. Then I’ve let the automaton escape!

Walter. Escape?

Jack. It must be in the kitchen now!

Walter. I have a particularly heavy poker in my
room, I’ll just fetch it.

Jack. And then?

Walter. We’ll see what then! (Has gone into
bedroom L.)

Jack. This is a nice muddle! What asses we’ve
been!

Stella. Yes, haven’t we?

Jack. By Jove! we have.

(Automaton comes in D. in F., followed by Mrs.
Anderson with a telegram—they both go quickly
into drawing-room R.)

Mrs. Anderson (calling as she goes). Telegrapheram,
Mr. Everest, sir!

Stella (down L. with Jack points up to them as they
go out). Jack! look!

(Piano is smashed off R.)

Oh, what’s that?

[Pg 25]Jack. That’s the piano! (Glass is smashed off R.)
That’s the three gold-fish in the bowl!

(Walter with poker enters L.)

Mrs. Anderson (off). Oh, help! (She rushes in
from R. in a fainting condition and gasps.) Mr. Everest
have fell out of the window into the street!

Walter. Mrs. Anderson, I am here.

(She gives a loud yell of fright in his face and rushes
into bedroom L. Stella hastens after her.)

Walter. There’s going to be no mistake this
time, I’m going after it myself. (Exit D. in F.)

(Jobbins enters D. in F., his hat bashed, a black eye,
and one arm in a sling. He is in a miserable
condition.)

Jack. Great goodness! Jobbins!

Jobbins. What’s left of him, sir!

Automaton (off at back). Yow-yow.

Jobbins (on his knees clings to Jack). I calls on
you to protect me!

Jack. We must search this house from top to toe.
You chase up, I’ll chase down. And if we don’t find
him, meet here.

Jobbins. I’ll do that (they go up), meet here!

(Exeunt.)

Stella (looks in L.). Jack, she’s getting better—Jack!
where are you? (Goes in again.)

(Jobbins enters D. in F., comes down, saying🙂

Jobbins. Missed him! (Sits L. of R. table). I’ll
just make out my little bill.

Stella. Help! Help! Help!

(Jack and Jobbins bring Walter on between them D.
in F., and bring him down C., and Mrs. Anderson
enters L.)

Walter. Let me go, let me go, I say!

Stella. Jack, you’ve got the wrong man!

(They release him.)

Mrs. Anderson. There’s a telegrapheram, sir; is
it for you or your twin?

Jack (snatches it and reads). From Mrs. Everest—“Potterfield
fell out of his dogcart and broke his
leg. The wedding is postponed.”

Stella. Postponed!

Jack. Congratulate you, old chap (shaking hands).
Your fortune’s safe.

(Noise off and lights down as🙂

Walter. Hush, hush! all of you. It’s coming
out to die!

(Red limes changing to green through above, and dark
floats.)

(Lights up—all rise.)

Stella (cries). Walter! (Music of “Caressante.”)

(Walter comes out from behind curtain L. and down to
Stella C., takes her in his arms.)

Walter. It’s Walter this time, and if you want
proof, open the cupboard and you’ll find all that
remains of

THE ELECTRIC MAN.

Curtain.

Charles Hannan’s one act plays, “The Setting of the Sun,”
“The New Groom,” “Richard Wye,” “The Gipsy,” “A
Fragment,” “The Clock,” “The Lily of the Field,” may also
be obtained from Messrs. Samuel French, Ltd.

BUTLER
& TANNER

THE
SELWOOD PRINTING
WORKS ·· FROME ··